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You're an LSU football fan

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Source: WAFB Source: WAFB
BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB) -

You count down the days to the season opener all summer. And then immediately start griping about the play-calling and everything else shortly after kickoff.

You're an LSU football fan.

The Tigers rally for a tremendous victory. Les Miles gives one of his passionate, emotional, postgame speeches that will soon go viral. YouTube is just salivating for the upload. You nod with satisfying approval - "that's MY coach."

You're an LSU football fan.

Les Miles burns all three timeouts well before halftime. The Tigers can't line up right and look like a goose lost in the fog. You punch the wall and kick the couch.

You're an LSU football fan.

You knew it all along, Brandon Harris would take over at quarterback.

You're an LSU football fan.

You knew it all along, Anthony Jennings would hold off Harris.

You're an LSU football fan.

You knew it all along, neither of these guys can play.

You're an LSU football fan.

You remind other fans this is "The Golden Era" of LSU football. Don't complain about 10-win seasons for Christ's sake. Remember the Curley Hallman days?

You're an LSU football fan.

Curley Hallman should've never been hired and that was another world, so shut your mouth. Stop comparing THIS, to THAT. We compete for national championships now. That's who we are.

You're an LSU football fan.

Kevin Faulk was the greatest thing about the 90s. Period.

You're an LSU football fan.

You're still agonizing over "what could've been" for Cecil Collins and Ryan Perrilloux.

You're an LSU football fan.

Tyrann Mathieu's career amazes, yet frustrates you tremendously. However, you understand now. No hard feelings, man.

You're an LSU football fan.

Patrick Peterson is a god.

You're an LSU football fan.

What was the Alabama score today? Did they look good? How do we match up?

You're an LSU football fan.

The first cool front of autumn and all its comforting glory blow through the North Gates of campus during a Friday in the fall. You park yourself at The Chimes bar, order the "fish of the day," an ice cold tea and crack open the sports page. Another big game beckons this weekend. You take a deep breath and realize how good you've got it. (Ok, maybe that's just me.)

You're an LSU football fan.

You pay "Mike The Tiger" a visit at his spectacular habitat. You can't imagine a more beautiful, powerful, majestic creature.

You're an LSU football fan.

However, the "Toonces The Tiger" logo was the worst concept ever. So glad that monstrosity has officially been retired.

You're an LSU football fan.

"Toonces" was awesome! Why did they get rid of it?

Ok, nobody said that.

ESPN hates us, even though they constantly pay us compliments.

You're an LSU football fan.

Day games at home are the antichrist. And, CBS hates us too.

You're an LSU football fan.

Each time you see the video of Eddie Fuller and his fingertips rising high for Tommy Hodson's pass, your heart stops. Will he catch the desperate, 4th down heave? Will LSU upset powerful Auburn? Will the earth shake in '88? You obviously know all the answers, but this enormous moment still causes a slight loss of breath. You remember exactly where you were the night Hodson hit Fuller. And the precise moment "The Earthquake Game" became legend.

You're an LSU football fan.

Replay "The Billy Cannon Run" until college football no longer exists. Sick of seeing it? Tough, that's your problem.

You're an LSU football fan.

An Alabama player gets in trouble. You inhale it like Tony Montana.

You're an LSU football fan.

An LSU player gets in trouble. You shrug and say -"C'mon, they're just kids."

You're an LSU football fan.

Speaking of Bama, you still long for answers about the night of 1/9/12.

You're an LSU football fan.

There is no mystery about that night. Bama was the better team and kicked our butt. Stop with the conspiracy garbage.

You're an LSU football fan.

We beat Alabama, in THEIR HOUSE that season. They didn't deserve a rematch to begin with.

You're an LSU football fan.

You'll never be the first caller on "The Les Miles Show" because "Gary" has been on hold since last week.

You're an LSU football fan.

You'll never be the last to speak on the show's live microphone segment because "The Evil Twin" has been working on his humorous material longer than "Gary" has been on hold. "The Evil Twin" always bats cleanup, unless "The Big Ragoo" is called upon to DH.

You're an LSU football fan.

Keke Mingo is a great player, not a daiquiri.

You're an LSU football fan.

It's Sunday at 1:56 p.m. before you finally roll over. Whose house are you at anyway? Did you park your car at Walk On's or along Skip Bertman Drive? And by the way, what's the Saints score?

You're an LSU football fan.

You criticize a particular senior player all year long. You just don't think he meets the Tiger standard. The second he walks off the field for the last time, you look at him with great admiration and admit - "We're sure going to miss that guy."

You're an LSU football fan.

And finally, you can't wait to get into Tiger Stadium. You want to be inside that boisterous, epic arena as it fills to the brim with humanity. You want to watch your beloved Tigers warm up, as the glowing, south Louisiana sun goes down. Your heart pounds in anticipation before "The Golden Band From Tigerland" strikes those first four religious notes, creating the kind of unforgettable emotion that will always bring you back. The ball is on the tee and your blood is pumping with the world's most intoxicating, natural high. It's Saturday Night in Death Valley.

And you're an LSU football fan.

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